Thursday, June 12, 2014

On Hillary, Gay Marriage, and Why We Can't Be Human.

Today, Hillary Clinton was obviously rattled by Terry Gross’s persistent attempts to clarify her “evolving” views on gaymarriage (start around minute 24). She wanted to know, essentially, if Hillary had actually changed her mind, or if she had evolved her public stance because the country and the conversation have evolved. It was, well, an awkward moment.

Here’s what I wish she would have said:

“I have always, in my heart of hearts, believed that lgbtq people are children of God, endowed with the same inalienable rights and worthy of the same dignity and protection under the law as everyone else – including the right to marry. I have never changed my mind about the dignity and value of my lgbtq friends or their families.
“I have also, however, always aspired to be a public servant – married to, and being myself, an elected and/or appointed official. I bring to that work a broad set of values and aspirations, and I have done that work in a political climate that forces me to make tough choices about how and what to support and when. In the early days of the movement for marriage equality, I was not prepared to be on the vanguard of that conversation. I believed it would have marginalized me as a political voice and limited my effectiveness as a leader. I did and said what I felt I had to in order to do as much good as possible in a system that is tragically flawed. I may or may not have judged that situation correctly. I will likely never know. These are the things that keep me up at night.
“What I do know without a doubt is that in doing so, my words about gay marriage were deeply hurtful to many people I dearly love as family and friends. For that I am profoundly sorry and I beg forgiveness. Every day. This, too – and much more so – keeps me up at night.
“May God and history judge me with both fairness and grace.”

That would have been refreshing. But, of course, she couldn't have said anything like that. Because we live in a political culture that has (at least) two unforgivable sins:

1. Changing one’s mind is a moral failure. You’re a flip-flopper. You have no backbone. This is the tendency that leads many of our leaders (on both sides of the aisle) to blatantly disregard data, evidence, science, math, reality, in order to “stick to their guns” – touting the party line, because that’s the money that got them elected. Truth be damned.

2. “Politics” is wrong. We expect our leaders to be ideological purists. We do not allow that, in this broken system, one must often make broken choices in order to serve what they understand to be the greater good. Is it wrong to vote for a bill that makes real progress in one direction but also takes us a few steps back on another issue? These are choices our leaders face every day. They are now constantly campaigning. And I’m the first to judge and criticize. I’m an ideological purist at heart. ("I'm watching you!") But I also have lived long enough to know that the world is not so simple as that. Calculations are made. Sins are committed in service of a greater good. I liken it to Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s decision to participate in the plot to assassinate Hitler. He knew it is always wrong to kill a human being. He also believed it was the best chance we had to bring the horror of that war to an earlier end - and potentially save millions of lives. He sinned – and he sinned boldly – trusting that God would judge him, and Hitler, and the world with both justice and mercy.

I personally find it inconceivable that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have actually ‘evolved’ on this issue. That’s because I find it difficult to believe that two people who have felt intimately – in their own flesh – the sting of systemic injustice could actually believe that “separate but equal” is ever an intellectually honest or just response to a human being’s yearning to be regarded with dignity and justice. But that's just me.
Which means, of course, that I believe they have both been shrewd and efficacious politicians. They have suppressed some of their inmost convictions for the sake of broader goals.

I have never in my life believed – nor said out loud – that lgbtq people are not worthy of equal protection under the law. I stand by that conviction, and I believe that history will show that I was, and am, absolutely right. But I also have never been – and will likely never be – a politician. 
But they are. And they're good at it. And they suck at it. Because they are human.
And the fact that they cannot be human – truly human – in our presence, while being interviewed by Terry Gross… well, that absolutely reflects poorly on them.


But I believe it reflects far more poorly on us. All of us.

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